Stop Talkin' That Blah Blah Blah
by silver tears and wasted fears
Summary: Songfic. Blah Blah Blah by Ke ha. Set after the Christmas Episode. OOC. Puckelberry. Puck is trying very hard to... hook up with Rachel. Rachel wants to let him know, he doesn't have to try so hard. Slight Rachel-Santana friendship.


It had been a while since Finn and Rachel broke up. Rachel was actually kind of alright with it now. Finn wasn't the guy for her. It may have taken her forever to realize it, but hey, better late than never.

The fact that she was finally over Finn did not go unnoticed, especially not by Noah Puckerman. Now, that she was both physically _and_ emotionally available, he was trying to hook up with her.

Every day, he used a different line.

_"Damn, Berry, you have more curves than a race track."_

_"Gee, Rach, that's one nice set of legs. What time do they open?"_

_"Mmm, I Just moved you to the top of my to-do list."_

They got worse and worse as time went on. But Rachel wanted to let him know, he didn't have to try so hard. She wanted to sleep with Noah. Not because she wanted Finn to be jealous, or she wanted to have a bad reputation, or anything like that. She was tired of being one of the only girls in the Junior class to still have her v-card. It was unrealistic to want to wait until she was twenty-five, Rachel knew that. Besides, she liked Noah. He was very attractive, and could make her smile. And she knew he was experienced, so she didn't have to worry about being... unsatisfied.

Despite all that, Rachel was still Rachel. And she thought that the best way to get her message across was too sing it. But, this was going to be a life-changing performance. She needed to look _hot. _So she was going to enlist the one person who could help her with that.

She grabbed her after glee rehearsal one day.

"What do you want, manhands?" Santana practically growled.

"Well hello to you too Satan," Rachel said smiling brightly, "I need your help."

"Everyone, everyone, listen up." Mr. Schue shouted. Everyone quited down and put their attention to the front of the room. Except for Rachel, no one knew where she was.

"We have a special treat today. Rachel would like to perform a song. She said that there is a message she needs to get across."

Everyone looked at Mr. Schue strangely. Mercedes finally was the one to break the silence.

"Uh, Mr. Schue, Rachel isn't here...?"

As if on cue, Rachel walked in. And jaws were dropped. She looked... like a goddess. She wore a short, dark denim _mini mini_ skirt. Her legs looked like they went on for miles. She also wore tall black stiletto heels, totally un-Rachelesque. Her hair had been curled, but not prim and perfect like you would expect from rachel. They were wild and loose and totally sexy. She wore a bright silver sparkly tank top. And her makeup looked like it wad done by Ke$ha herself. She wore bright gold glitter eyeshadow all the way from her eyelids to the arch of her brows. She looked amazing.

Everyone was staring. Finn looked like he was seriously regretting breaking up with her. Artie looked like if he wasn't in a wheelchair, he would have ravished her right then. Sam was just... stunned. Everyone was. If Kurt were still there, he probably would have been turned straight. And Noah Puckerman, don't even get me started on Noah Puckerman.

He was on the floor. He literally fell out of his chair when she walked in. And he couldn't quite seem to remember how to get up. Or, now that he thought about it, his name.

The girls let out wolf whistles and cat-calls. Rachel locked eyes with Santana, and winked. During this process, they had become sort of quasi-friends. Santana never liked Puck, they were just fuck buddies. And she was only with Finn because she wanted her head cheerleading status back, and technically, she hadn't really done anything wrong. Besides, Santana was a supporter of Puckleberry, she claimed she had seen it from the beginning.

Mr. Schue awkardly cleared his throat.

"Uh, okay, wow. Anyway, Rachel has something she would like to sing, and I too don' t know what it is, so I guess we're all in for a surprise." Mr. Schue went to sit and awaited the performance.

Rachel spoke. "So, I want to sing this song. And hopefully, the person will get the message."

And she looked directly into Puck's eyes, and stared to sing.

_Comin' out your mouth with your blah blah blah_

_Zip your lip like a padlock_

_And meet me in the back with the jack and the jukebox_

She didn't just stand around while sang. She danced. Sexily. And then she walked straight up to Puck, who had at some point climbed back in his seat, and put her hand on his thigh. And climbed it up his leg, while she sang. Which definitley did not go unnoticed.

_Don't really care where you live at._

_Just turn around boy, lemme hit that._

_Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat._

_Just show me where your dick's at. _

Everyone grew even more shocked. Rachel Berry was singing a sexy song, with cursing, _in school, _to Noah Puckerman? Aside from Santana, none of them could hardly believe it.

_Music's up._

_Listen Hot stuff!_

_I'm in love_

_with this song._

_So just hush_

_Baby shut up. _

_Heard enough._

She put her hand up to Puck's lips, and literally, shushed him. Then, crooned the next lines into his ear, while slightly nibbling on his earlobe.

_Stop t-t-talkin that_

_Blah blah blah_

_Think you'll be gettin this?_

_Nah nah nah_

_Not in the back of my _

_Ca-a-ar_

_If you keep talkin that_

_Blah Blah Blah_

She then left Puck sitting there shocked and went to dance around and sing with the rest of the glee club.

_Boy come on, get your rocks stuff_

_Just put a little love in my glove box_

_I wanna dance with no pants on, holla_

_Meet me in the back with the jack and the jukebox_

_So, cut to the chase kid_

_Cause I know you don't care what my middle name is_

_I wanna get naked_

_And you're wasted_

She laughed and grinded _very _sexily with Santana and Brittany, while everyone looked on.

_Music's up_

_Listen hot stuff_

_I'm in love_

_with this song_

_So just hush_

_Baby shut up_

_Heard enough_

_Stop t-t-talkin that_

_blah blah blah_

_Think you'll be gettin' this_

_Nah nah nah_

_not in the back of my _

_C-a-ar_

_If you keep talkin' that_

_Blah Blah blah blah blah_

She then got back to the main floor to sing the rest of the song to everyone.

_Blah blah blah_

_Think you'll be gettin' this_

_nah nah nah_

_not in the back of my_

_c-a-ar_

_If you keep talkin' that _

_blah blah blah blah blah_

_Stop t-t-talkin' that_

Then she laughed and winked at everyone.

There was a moment of silence before the room erupted into applause. Literally, there was an uproar. Everyone, even Mr. Schue, was clapping. Everyone except for Puck that is.

Eventually, Mr. Schue remembered he was supposed to be the adult in this situation.

"Uh, Rachel, while that was a very good performance, it was not entirely appropriate for school. In the future, I would appreciate if you let me know of your song beforehand."

Rachel blushed. "Yes, Mr. Schue."

She then moved to go back to her seat. But as, she passed, Puck pulled her onto her lap and kissed her hard and hungrily on the mouth.

He definitley got the message.


End file.
